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How to Apply the Coaching Model in Your Organization, with Barry Demp [Episode 367]

Joining me on this episode is Barry Demp, Founder of Barry Demp Coaching, and author of an interesting book, called, The Quotable Coach: Daily Nuggets of Practical Wisdom. Among the many topics that Barry and I discuss are how a coaching relationship differs from a management relationship, why it’s essential to connect with the vision and values of your people, and how to find fulfillment in your work.

Key Takeaways

  • Barry taught Science for two years in the Philadelphia Public Schools. He moved into pharmaceuticals in sales and marketing for 12-1/2 years, for Upjohn. Barry left in 1992.
  • Barry was moved by the Barcelona Olympic Games. A documentary on athletes and coaches inspired him to bring coaching to business, which he has been doing for 24 years.
  • In a coaching relationship, people promise action to fulfill a future goal they intend to achieve. They lead themselves to the future they desire. Old-school management is, my job is to get you to go where I need you, like it, or not.
  • When people’s vision and values connect with the organization, they see work can be an expression of themselves, and they engage with it, and are fulfilled by that community, and they build it up to mutual benefit.
  • The balance begins with relationships. Quality relationships underlie quality results. Knowing your employees, and their values, are drivers of human behavior. “We’re not a machine anymore,” ― Seth Godin.
  • Barry’s book is developed from his blog. Andy notes selected quotes: “You’re more likely to act yourself into feeling, than feel yourself into action.” ― Jerome Bruner. Start something!
  • “People are anxious to improve their circumstances, but they’re unwilling to improve themselves. They therefore remain bound.” ― James Allen. Invest in yourself!
  • “Don’t stumble over something behind you” ― Seneca the Younger. Where do we live — past, present, or future? Be present in the moment, and step into the future!
  • “Death is Nature’s advice to get plenty of life.” ― Goethe. Life is finite. Get the most out of it!
  • “Our chief want in life is somebody who will make us do what we can.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson. The ability to take a stand for other people is a remarkably powerful place!
  • “If you chase two rabbits, both will escape.” ― Author Unknown. Choose and focus! The most productive people are highly-focused, not multi-taskers.
  • “Instead of seeking new landscapes, develop new eyes.” ― Marcel Proust. Perception is reality. If we perceive things in new ways, we create new realities!

More About Barry Demp

What’s your most powerful sales attribute?

Authenticity and being genuine.

Who is your sales role model?

People who walk their talk, have integrity, and sincerity, but also have a level of courage to stand for what’s important and valuable for themselves.

What’s one book that every salesperson should read?

I’m a book addict. A book that I read just recently is A More Beautiful Question: The Power of Inquiry to Spark Breakthrough Ideas, by Warren Berger.

What music is on your playlist right now?

I tend to listen most to Contemporary Jazz on my XM Radio, to relax.

Episode Transcript

Andy Paul (0:35)

It’s time to Accelerate. I’m your host, Andy Paul. Join me as I host conversations with the leading experts in sales, marketing sales, automation, sales process, leadership, management, training, coaching, any resource that I believe will help you accelerate the growth of your sales, your business and most importantly, you.

 Hello and welcome to Accelerate. Today I’m excited to be joined by Barry Demp. He is the founder of Burry Demp Coaching, and author of an interesting book called, The Quotable Coach, Daily Nuggets of Practical Wisdom. Barry, welcome to Accelerate.


Barry Demp (1:14)

Thanks for having me, Andy.


Andy Paul (1:15)

Please take a minute or fill out that sketchy introduction. Tell us about yourself and how you got your start in business?


Barry Demp (1:22)

Well, my first career was as an educator, so I was a teacher at the Philadelphia public school system. And I come from a family of teachers who just simply love to learn. So, I simply did it my way, which was to become a science teacher. So, I had some very influential professors and teachers along the way that inspired me to both love to learn and also help other people. I did that for two years in the Philadelphia public school system, and I transitioned into the pharmaceutical industry, which is where I developed my sales and marketing efforts. So, I worked for a company called the Upjohn Company, which was based in Kalamazoo, Michigan. And I had about six or seven jobs in Upjohn sales, and marketing, and advertising, and product management for a 12-and-a-half-year period in 1992.


Andy Paul (2:17)

So, before moving on, what were some of the products you were selling?


Barry Demp (2:19)

Well, we were selling things like Motrin, and Court Aid, and Unicamp vitamins, and Kala-Peptide, and drugs for diabetes, drugs for infections, things for acne, even Rogaine was one of our products for hair growth.


Andy Paul (2:36)

So, you were never tempted to use it?


Barry Demp (2:41)

Well, unfortunately, I was the poster child for before, because I lost my hair at the ripe old age of 23 – 24 years old. Wow. That was way after there was anything to keep.


Andy Paul (2:56)

So, Upjohn, did they get consolidated with somebody?


Barry Demp (3:03)

Absolutely. When I took a buyout in 1992, they merged with a company called Farmacia. And not too long after that, they became part of Pfizer, which is a couple hundred-billion-dollar company based on the East Coast, right. 1992 is a pivotal year for me because I was inspired by the Olympic Games in Barcelona to pursue my coaching career. At the time, they did a little documentary on the Olympic Village. And it turns out there was about 5000 athletes and 2000 coaches. And I think if that athletes were pursuing gold medals, why not bring this idea of coaching to the business world? And that was an epiphany that started roughly 24 years ago, and I’ve been a coach for 24 years.


Andy Paul (3:52)

So, you work with a lot of entrepreneurs and service providers, people who don’t necessarily have support systems within organizations. It seems like there’s a lot of literature being written these days about growing awareness of the need for managers to be coaches. So why is the seem to be? Why is this epiphany for any of these people seem to be happening now? To me it seems like, hasn’t coaching always been an integral part of managing?


Barry Demp (4:25)

That’s a really great point. When I was starting my career, my manager at the time was very coach like, and I’m 59 years old, and back then it was really important to groom and develop and bring out the best of your people. And at the same time, the management theory of the time was a little bit more like Theory X Theory Y, and a little bit more of a taskmaster approach, a little bit more of, “how do I get my people to do what I want them to do?”


Andy Paul (4:56)

MBO, Management by Objectives.


Barry Demp (4:58)

Yeah. So, with the younger generations, Generation X and Y, and the new millennials and so on, those people will simply not tolerate organizational cultures that are a top down and a little bit more aggressive in their approach. So, a coaching approach, which is somewhat of an inside out approach, which facilitates bringing forth, and bring out of people their very best, is far more engaging, far more empowering, and that seems to be the way things are going. So, even in the automotive sectors, that old school of top down, is not working anymore. And here in Detroit, new management theory, and a far more empowering culture is the way things are headed for the better.


Andy Paul (5:44)

So, if you were to break that down, so what’s the difference between managing and coaching?


Barry Demp (5:50)

Well, the idea of management is simply this idea of, it’s kind of the tool that produces results. We can manage old school, like managing people’s behavior. But on the other hand, if we manage people’s promises– so what that means is basically, leadership is a precursor for empowered management. And if we align on our future and we commit to be an action to support that future, this idea of coaching supports people in pursuing both an authentic journey for themselves, as well as an authentic journey and accomplishment for the organizations that they work for.


Andy Paul (6:27)

I’m thinking about that, there’s a lot to absorb there. So, again, if you had to summarize, so management versus coaching.


Barry Demp (6:43)

So, the if you look at the Olympic model of shape coaching, the coach works and partners with that athlete to bring forth and bring out of them their fullest potential. So, a good portion of that engagement is this inside out, fulfilling the possibility of that athlete.


Andy Paul (7:01)

Well, let’s talk about inside out. So, what do you mean by inside out?


Barry Demp (7:05)

Well, discovering your strengths, expanding on their strengths, being more self-aware, exercising and stretching and going beyond, based upon what you’re committed to, and so on. Realizing a level of potential that lies within us, that is somewhat kind of hidden for many of us. And that’s a very engaging and exciting place to be. So really good coaches, bring forth and bring out at people their fullest potential in a very authentic and genuine way. And that’s generally regarded as a very enjoyable process. Management is this idea of– in a coaching relationship, people are self-managing. In other words, they promised to be an action, to fulfill and pursue a future that they’re committed to. So, in many ways, they’re self-managing, they promised themselves what they’re going to do and what they intend to achieve, but they’re empowered to make those promises because they fundamentally are leading themselves to the future that they desire. As opposed to old school management is, “I have an objective, I know where I want you to go. And my job is to get you to go where I want you to go whether you really want to, or perhaps not so much.”


Andy Paul (8:19)

So, at the end of the day, and I know it’s a little simplified, I’ll follow up with another question. So, at the end of the day, it’s really become a difference between coaching or helping somebody achieve the goals, they set management, you’re helping people achieve the goals you set.


Barry Demp (8:36)

I would say that’s pretty accurate. The key though, organizational effectiveness depends on aligning the personal initiatives and the personal focus with the organization. So, connecting who you are with what you do, along with the organizational culture is very critical for job fulfillment and satisfaction.


Andy Paul (8:56)

Right. So, that was the follow up question I had, how then do you align people’s individual goals and aspirations, that you coach them to achieve, to bring out their potential to achieve, with the organizational goals?


Barry Demp (9:11)

Well, that’s a complicated question. But to simplify it to some degree, many, many years ago, Jim Collins wrote a book called Good to Great. But prior to that, he wrote a book called, Built to Last. And Built to Last was about vision and value-based organizations. And what they found was that vision and value-based organizations outperform standard companies in their same category by a factor of 14-fold, based upon stock price.


Andy Paul (9:40)

Well, vision value, just define that for the people listening.


Barry Demp (9:43)

Well, people’s values, let’s say their values would include honesty, and integrity, and hard work, and loyalty, and doing your best, and respect, and dignity and courage, things of that sort.


Andy Paul (9:58)

And these are these are values that the organization put up a priority on.


Barry Demp (10:03)

Yeah. So, when people fit, when people’s vision and values connect with the organization’s missions and purposes, they see that work can be an expression of who they are, and they tend to be more engaged and more fulfilled by being part of that community. So, making a connection between who you are and what you do, and making that connection within the organizations that we spend so much of our times, and usually has a very empowered and engaged team of organizational members, as well as an organization that’s pretty unstoppable because that level of engagement.


Andy Paul (10:42)

So, and this is interesting question, not to undercut a point you made but, of the companies that Collins profiled in Built to Last, how many of those have lasted?


Barry Demp (10:57)

And that’s really a good question because things have changed. When he did that research, subsequently, he’s kind of debunked that a little bit. But the research on those companies were companies that were in business for over 50 years. And yet at this time, and in our society, there’s a lot of disruptive forces that are having some of those companies not necessarily be those ones that have lasted even to today.


Andy Paul (11:25)

I was just wondering, at some point, disruption in some form, whether it was technological disruption, market disruption, how did the vision and values help them sustain themselves? Or in some cases, maybe it didn’t? Or, or did it only start help them?


Barry Demp (11:48)

Well, that’s a good question. You’d have to ask Jim Collins about his research, but I could hypothesize. My sense is that at some point in time, individual visions, and values, and commitments from the rank and file somehow got disconnected at some point in time, from the organization, and visions, and missions, and goals. And that is a recipe for things to start kind of crumbling and falling apart. And unfortunately, when we live in a society where the market and the stock market in particular puts considerable pressure on organizations to perform very quickly and very dramatically, it causes people to make choices and decisions that sometimes don’t always fit with their long term vision and values and can undermine that their long term success.


Andy Paul (12:43)

Yeah. It sure raises a question, can any, a public company afford, over any period of time, to really be driven by that. I mean, it could be the case of let’s say, Apple perhaps, where they don’t manage to the quarterly report as much as other companies do. But it seems like that’s a tough challenge.


Barry Demp (13:10)

You bet. Organizational culture and engagement of employees is always a challenge. But my own experiences, making sure there is a connection between that individual and that organization, from a sense of values, and beliefs, and operating practices, and simply the behaviors that people exemplify in their day to day efforts, is very important to get the very best through the individual and collective efforts of everybody.


Andy Paul (13:42)

So how do managers sort of achieve this balance?


Barry Demp (13:47)

Well, depending upon the size of their department or their division, I think it begins with relationships. Quality relationships are the foundation for quality results. And knowing who people are and having a sense of what they value and what they believe, and what’s important to them, those are the drivers of us as, as human beings. Seth Godin would basically say, we’re not a machine anymore. This is not about gears and widgets and so on. Human beings have heart and flesh and blood, and souls, and so on. And if we don’t connect with people at that level, we don’t get their very best, and they simply live for the weekend or live for Sunday, and don’t have that level of engagement. And perhaps that’s why so many people are going through a free agency, or through an entrepreneurial type of explosion these days, to really look for that fulfillment and that self-expression that seems to have been lost in past decades.


Andy Paul (14:51)

Well, it’s interesting point because, I certainly think it was part of the reason people perhaps stay with the entrepreneurial phase as you talked about it. But it seems like a lot of it is driven by the fact that the companies continue to want to outsource as much of the work as they can rather than bring on full time employees.


Barry Demp (15:12)

And that’s very much a part of the equation. The challenge is, we want as individual employees to be as valuable and as impactful as we’d like to be. So, whether we’re a free agent, and people pick us up because of our abilities to contribute and create value, or we simply become part of that organization, because we’re one of those high potential keepers, still incredibly important in terms of an individual success.


Andy Paul (15:42)

Yeah, I think ironically, what’s happening is—and this is not backed by science at all. It’s just based on my exposure to hundreds and thousands of people through this podcast and my work, is that a lot of people were forced into the “gig economy”, and sort of unwillingly. But once they’ve experienced, there’s a higher fraction of those than perhaps thought originally, they really don’t want to go back to the way it was before.


Barry Demp (16:14)

Well, that’s a good point. I think a big overriding question that people are looking at more and more each day is, “what is my life all about?” And, How Will I Measure My Life is a book that was written in 2012. And I think people are really looking at that idea of family, and balance, and making a difference, and impact, and learning, and growth, and self-actualization far more than ever before. Now, it used to be 35 years, get your gold watch and move on to a lot of golf in Florida or something like that. And now people are looking at how they spend their time, who they spend it with, what they spend it doing, and job satisfaction, job fulfillment; and having their efforts and their work make a huge difference is critical for people of all generations.


Andy Paul (17:09)

Yeah, I think we’re seeing that people are working longer. That’s one of the issues, that relative to the collision of the boomers, and the Gen X, and the millennials in the workforce is that, the boomers aren’t disappearing the way that previous generations did when they hit 60 years old or 65 years old.


Barry Demp (17:33)

Well, I guess 60 is the new 70, and 70 is the new 80. And my father just turned 90 years old, and he’s still pretty damn engaged, in his efforts and his learning and his growth. So, he’s not finished yet. So, he works out every day. And he’s trying to keep his mind active and so on. And he engages in brain puzzles and all kinds of other things. And I think that engagement in life is very important to longevity and satisfaction.


Andy Paul (18:06)

Yeah. I think you’re my point was in the economy is that now the boomers aren’t disappearing out of the workforce. And down to your point of sale 60 is maybe the new 50, going the other direction. Whether it’s there as employees or as part of the “gig economy”, people are going through career reinventions at 55 – 60 and so on that are really extending their place in the market for 15 – 20 years.


Barry Demp (18:39)

Well, I tend to think that’s pretty important from the standpoint of we don’t want to lose what sometimes is referred to as deep smarts. The baby boomer generations and even people beyond that, have a considerable bout of wisdom to share, if they can operate and collaborate with other generations together as opposed to just putting people out to pasture. The automotive industry lost a lot of well-seasoned and very bright people, when people moved on and took buyouts and so on, and they weren’t necessarily the better for it.


Andy Paul (19:18)

Yeah, so in some cases, you could argue that some of those people left, or those that helped create the issue in the first place. But I want to talk about your book, The Quotable Coach, because I really enjoyed reading it. You tell us why you wrote it. To me, I saw it as a motivational sort of inspirational book that young people could pick up and find something in it to help them confront the challenge, overcome an issue in their lives and so on.


Barry Demp (19:51)

Sure, well, I actually wrote the book about– started writing my blog, I should say, about six years ago. And The purpose of writing the blog was, I often use quotes that make a particular point to cement a lesson in a coaching session. So, I might say, “when patterns are broken, new worlds really emerge.” And virtually every one of my clients want the new professional and personal world to emerge, and they need to be open and receptive to doing things in new and different ways. So, I see quotes literally as a as a nugget of wisdom. The challenge that I saw in the marketplace is that people simply send those quotes around and just leave it at that. And I thought perhaps interpreting and digging in and exploring or perhaps telling a story about that quote, and then giving the reader a way to apply that through an exercise or a question would be a way to make coaching far more available to a large audience. So, as a reasonably busy coach, I might work with 20 to 30 clients at a given week. And yet I do believe that coaching is a support structure to help people be successful throughout the world. So, the idea of the blog was to make it available for people who may not be able to actually afford or engage a coach on a one on one basis. And we’ve been fortunate, we have about 7000 to 8000 web visitors, we have over 1800 daily subscribers all around the world, and they get their little nugget in the morning and they get to apply that in their world for free. So, the idea was to make a bigger dent in the universe to bring coaching to more and more people, and so on. The book is simply a year supply. So, there’s 365 quotes and commentaries and exercise. My own experience of blogging and reading blogs is, you got to get to the point pretty quickly. So, the nature of the Quotable Coach is, most posts can be read in well under 60 seconds and many in 30 seconds. So that’s about it all the time that in our time starved world that sometimes people will give you. So, we write it Monday through Friday, and it’s been up and going for about six years.


Andy Paul (22:12)

Yeah, I really like it. And the thing that really strikes me, especially going through the book, is that the human experience hasn’t really changed a lot over the last several thousand years. And I think that’s something that’s really important for people really to understand is, that we tend to think that our experience in this world, given the old influences, is not so different than certainly any other world that– or any other point in time that’s preceded it, but the fact is, as humans, our reactions to it are ours are the same. We still have the same worries, same concerns and so on. I thought that really comes out in a lot of the quotes you have, and I think that’s really important lesson for people to learn is that we’ve been through this, there’s people that can offer wisdom and advice that can help you.


Barry Demp (23:11)

You know, whether it’s Buddha, or Gandhi, or Mother Teresa, or Albert Einstein, or William Shakespeare, or Socrates or Plato, like you said, all of these people have been human beings living on this planet at different times. And what we think about and our ability to be self-aware, is a critical component to fulfillment and happiness. And I think the nature of this book is, it makes it far more intentional and far more accessible for people to tap into that that universal humanity blend. As you said, has been going on for thousands of years and realize that other people looked up at the stars thousands of years ago and thought about, what all is about and what’s important, and so on. So, bringing those back to a contemporary venue of blogging and a book just seemed like a really good idea that was digestible by people in our rush around “helter skelter” world where people are so busy.


Andy Paul (24:19)

Okay, well let’s run through some of these because I’ve got a number that I picked out that I liked. Because it sort of comes from both the personal aspect, comes from a sales aspect, just career aspect in general. So, the first one that I liked, a couple were early in the book, one that says, “you’re more likely to act yourself into feeling than feel yourself into action”. That’s from Jerome Bruner, who’s American psychologist. Why’d you choose that one?


Barry Demp (24:48)

Well, this whole idea of motivation, and movement and momentum. It’s kind of like that person who wants to stay in bed and not go to the gym, or not work out. There’s something to be said though, when you’re in action, when you’re moving, that seems to generate a level of energy that is easier to continue. So, something in motion stays in motion, something that stops takes a lot of energy, and so on. And feelings are connected with a movement and momentum so to speak. So simply getting an action starting something, putting that first step out there, allows the second step to be that much easier.


Andy Paul (25:29)

Well, I think that for me, one of the key things about this was really this whole issue about motivation. I was talking about this with a previous guest in a different show, is that people confuse motivation with inspiration. And they think that they can be externally motivated, where really motivation has to come from within. And I think that this really speaks to that, you have to act and then you’ll feel motivated, not that someone is going to motivate you to take action. So, I like that one. So, another one that somewhat along the same lines, and a couple of these that you had in here really speak to me, because it’s one of the issues I see so often with– certainly in sales. And this is from James Allen, an English philosopher, he wrote this well over 100 years ago that, “people are anxious to improve their circumstances, but they’re unwilling to improve themselves. They therefore remain bound” or stuck, if you will. So, to me that’s such an important one. People think about wanting to be better, but they don’t take the steps to do it, and to improve themselves. And I see this all the time in sales, people just don’t invest in themselves.


Barry Demp (26:43)

Yeah, I would agree completely with that as well. That phrase, “wherever you go, there you are. But there you are with your inner voice or your inner world, or your mental models, or your paradigms, or your beliefs, and they color your world”, and the question for me is, we can be very, very self-determining in many ways versus being a victim of our world. If we want something new and different to happen, we have a lot more influence and control than we probably think.


Andy Paul (27:14)

We probably have absolute control over it.


Barry Demp (27:16)

Absolutely. And again, there’s lots of examples where people are in the blame game and pointing to other people why their life and life isn’t what they want it to be.


Andy Paul (27:27)

Yeah, I thought that was a good one. And again, think about this was written now 120 plus years ago. Another one written comes around longer ago. And we talked about the sort of eternal human condition, written by Seneca the Younger, who was a– the stoic philosopher background, 0 AD and a little bit before, which was his quote, “don’t stumble over something behind you.”


Barry Demp (27:57)

Well, this idea of, where do we live? Many people live somewhat in the past with thoughts of regret of what happened. And those past-based events or experiences or feelings or thoughts, color their world in the moment. Other people live in the present, which is what a lot of people would say is the place to be. And then, thirdly, some people live too far into the future, where everything is a pipe dream, and so on. So, the real question is, if you could do anything about your past, if you could undo it, if you could unblock up a bomb, that would be a great trick, but unfortunately cannot. The real question is how do we reconcile things that have occurred in the past and actually move on to be present in the moment and step into our future?


Andy Paul (28:46)

Yeah, that’s a good one. Yes. So many people held back, and I know someone that fairly close to that. Yeah, just stuck in a cycle of sort of self-recrimination about things that happened before, that’s preventing them from moving forward. That one really spoke to me. So, another one I really enjoyed was from Gupta, another 19th century author, which is, “death is nature’s advice to get plenty of life.”


Barry Demp (29:16)

Well, if you actually do the numbers, and if you are, let’s say 83 – 84 years old, and count up the number of days, it’s somewhere around 30,000 days. And if you look up the number of months, it’s probably 4000 months. And if you really get down to and so on, it’s like, well, it’s finite. One of the quotes or phrases I like is, “life is like a toilet paper roll. The more you get into it, the faster it appears to spin.” So, as you interact with people at different points in time, when you’re young, you think you have an unlimited amount of time, and then we become more and more cautious about how we spend our time who we spend it with, and we’re not so willing to waste it. Now, toilet paper roll has lots of sheets of paper on it. And if you had 1000 sheets, you’d be careful how many you would use on a shitty job or a shitty relationship? Excuse the language.


Andy Paul (30:20)

A good way to tie the metaphor together. There you go. Yeah, life is short, you want to make the investment now, take action on that to help you live it, live it to the fullest and get the most out of it. Which have led to the next one, which is from Ralph Waldo Emerson, who I quote frequently in the show is one of my great sources of great inspirational quotes and this one speaks specifically to what you do, which is, “our chief want in life is someone who will make us do what we can.”


Barry Demp (30:56)

I happen to be a parent of a third 31-year-old son, and a 29-year-old daughter, and I don’t know any parent who is in highly committed to the growth, and the development, and happiness, and success of their children. It’s where we really fundamentally take a stand. We’d even give our lives for our children. But that ability to take a stand for other people, is a remarkably powerful place. And I think the coaching profession is a profession where we can take a stand for many people, many people in our communities, many people in our organizations, and having a person stand for our greatness, our potential, out possibility is a remarkable thing. And when we do that, we find courage and capacities and strengths within ourselves that can surprise ourselves and contribute to the world.


Andy Paul (31:54)

Exactly, So, another one, moving on, I like this one about this is from an anonymous or unknown source was, “if you chase two rabbits both will escape”, which to me was about the value of focus, right? You have to focus on what is important, and you have to make choices.


Barry Demp (32:22)

Now, what are those priorities? What are those values? What are those priorities? Today, it’s not uncommon for many people to multitask. But when they’re in two different places, they’re in neither place under speed. Be full and present now. So, people who are the most productive, people think they are multitaskers, but actually, that’s untrue. They’re just highly focused people, they could get things done very quickly, and then move on to the next thing they get done effectively and efficiently as well.


Andy Paul (33:01)

Too many that I want to go through here. This one from Marcel Proust, a 19th century writer, people know him, remembrance of things past one’s saying “instead of seeking new landscapes develop new eyes.”


Barry Demp (33:19)

Well, that’s one of my favorites as well. And it really points to this idea of, human beings have the ability to perceive. And we’ve all heard that phrase that perception is reality. And it may sound a little corny, but if we could perceive things in multiple ways, we could create new realities. Now Abraham Lincoln once said, “I don’t like that man, I need to get to know him better.” So, he was willing to be open and receptive and try on and look for what was good and valuable, instead of being just critical or judgmental. So, having new eyes and seeing the possibility in people and things allows a lot more possibilities to emerge.


Andy Paul (34:08)

Exactly. And also, to me it was saying, “there’s new ways to solve existing problems.” I see it all the time with salespeople as is that, they are dealing with a prospect and they say, “well, this prospect is just like this other one that I dealt with before. So, this is how we’re going to solve that person’s problems.” And then they’ll be mystified as to why they lost the deal. And if they just opened their eyes, instead of seeing this as– look at more with the fresh insight, fresh perspective, change a paradigm of how they’re viewing the world, then it opens up new vistas for them.


Barry Demp (34:53)

Again, you’re pointing to the incredible importance of relationships and the ability to connect and relate to people as a unique individual and be open and receptive to being a little bit surprised versus the phrase “I know”, it just means you stop listening. “I know. I know what you’re going to say, I know what you’re going to do, I know how you decide things.” What if we didn’t though? What if we were more curious and explored and they could actually tell us?


Andy Paul (35:22)

Right. Very interesting. We could spend probably a whole another two episodes talking about interesting quotes from that and what they mean. But now we’ll move on to the last segment of the show Barry, where I’ve got some standard questions I ask all my guests. And the first one is a hypothetical scenario. And in this you’ve just been hired as the new VP of sales by a company whose sales have stalled out, and the CEO is anxious to hit the reset button and get sales back on track. So, what two steps could you take in your first week on the job that would have the biggest impact?


Barry Demp (35:57)

If I’m somewhat new to the job, I think a critical component is get the lay of the land. So, getting the lay of the land is to interact and explore conversations with all the stakeholders. So, whether it’s a sales team, or just the employees in general, or get the lay of the land with our existing customers, or even our prospects. Now, what’s working, what’s not working? How are we being perceived? What value is being provided? What are they thinking? And so on. So, understanding that is very fundamental to our ability to move forward. The second thing is to determine the vision for the future of all the stakeholders, whether it’s the employees or even the customers. Now, what does their problem look like? What does the solution look like? And are we relevant anymore in providing our product or services to fulfill that? And if not, we might be a little bit antiquated and we need to invigorate and reinvent ourselves to be relevant again.


Andy Paul (37:00)

Okay. All right, good answer. So now I’ve got some rapid-fire questions, you can give me one-word answers, or you can elaborate, if you wish. So, first one is on you, Barry are out selling your services. What’s your most powerful sales attribute?


Barry Demp (37:15)

I think the most powerful attribute I have is simply authenticity and being genuine.


Andy Paul (37:22)

So, if you have a sales role model or a business role model. Who would that be?


Barry Demp (37:28)

That’s a good question. I probably have to think about that. When I look at role models, I simply look at people who walk their talk and who have integrity, who have a level of sincerity, but also have a level of courage to stand for what’s important and what’s valuable for themselves. So, I don’t think I can give you a single person, but I can say, these people have integrity. They’re honest. They’re hard working. They’re open minded, they’re creative. They’re respectful and bold in their efforts. But you know, it’s like a composite of many people.


Andy Paul (38:11)

Okay, that’s fair. So other than your own book, what’s one book that you’d recommend that every businessperson should read?


Barry Demp (38:21)

Wow. I’m kind of a book addicts. So, I have, lots and lots and lots of books. A book that I read just recently that I think is a really provocative, it’s called, A More Beautiful Question. And I think that’s very consistent with this idea of coaching and engaging people because it’s through our questions that we explore where we are, where we’re going, what’s possible for us in our professional worlds and our personal worlds, and so on. And I think those questions are also tremendously impactful in our ability to innovate and create and move our world forward. So, I like that very much. I think it’s Warren Berger.


Andy Paul (39:13)

Right. And it’s actually almost near the top of my list to read as well. So, it’s been recommended several times by people recently. All right, last question for you is, this was a tough one. This is what music is on your playlist these days.


Barry Demp (39:27)

Are you actually talking about real music? I tend to be a little bit more introverted, and many people think I am because I give talks and speeches, I’m out in the community, I network and things of that sort. But I tend to like the work of Susan Cain, who wrote a book called Quiet, and that stands for the power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking. So, the music that I listened to most on my XM, Sirius Radio is a contemporary jazz, and that tends to be both a little pop a little jazz, a little hip hop. But it’s a smoother, a little bit more relaxing kind of music, and that kind of settle things down from that “helter skelter” busy world that we operate in.


Andy Paul (40:18)

All right, good answer. Well, Barry, thanks for joining me today. So, tell folks how they can find out more about you.


Barry Demp (40:25)

Well, I’m more than happy to give people my phone number which is 248-740-3231. You can Google me as Barry Demp and see the various books, and resources, and workbooks and things. I would be honored if your listeners would consider going to the quotablecoach.com and signing up for free. And lastly, if you really want to check me out, you can connect with me on LinkedIn or just go to dempcoaching.com.


Andy Paul (40:58)

Excellent, well great, well thanks again. And remember friends thank you for spending part of your day listening to the show. And you can make the show part of your daily routine, every day, to help you deliberately learn something new to help you accelerate your success and easily to do this, take a moment and subscribe to this podcast Accelerate on iTunes or Google Play Music, wherever you listen. And that way you won’t miss any of my conversations with top business experts like my guest today Barry Demp, who shared his expertise about how to accelerate the growth of your business. So, thanks for joining me. Until next time, this is Andy Paul. Good selling everyone.

Thanks for listening to the show. If you like what you heard and want to make sure you don’t miss any upcoming episodes, please subscribe to this podcast on iTunes or stitcher.com. For more information about today’s guests, visit my website at andypaul.com.